Wednesday, October 11, 2006

• Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.
• Don't say you understand when you don't.
• Women are pretty, get over it.
• You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
• If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
• We are self-concious by nature, we can't help it.
• We are drama queens.
• Fashion police do exist.
• Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
• Don't make bets about us, we always find out.
• Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emitt other strange gasses from your body, it is not.
• We are beautiful, but make-up helps.
• Most importantly- we are always right- so don't forget it.
• When you say that she is just a friend, and we say ok, deep inside were really bothered.
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• Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
• Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant; so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
• Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
• Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
• Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
• Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
• Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
• Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
• Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
• Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
• Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing.
• Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
• Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
• Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
• If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
• Women brush their hair before bed.
• Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
• Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
• Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
• The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
• Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
• Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
• Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
• Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
• The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.
• 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
• Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
• Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
• It's okay for women to dance with each other, but you don't see men dancing together.
• Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
• The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'

>>we are naturally remarkable.. love bein a woman..(?)