Sunday, December 10, 2006

sh!t

i can't fathom what my feelings are at the moment.. i feel bad.. i feel disheartened.. so fed-up.. downcast.. blah blah.. and for some personal reasons, i can't tell.. i maybe making a biggie out of it or maybe overdramatizing what i heard, but! this is not the first time i felt the same damn thing.. i've been the same too.. you know, vaunting things off for the entire globe to know, yet, i know when to take a break and chew over my limitations.. haha!! i know im just overreacting.. i am! sheeting down my sentiments isn't a violation anyway! i don't even know if im upset or what, i think he just rubbed the wrong way.. this has been his diversion and if i get used to it, aarrgghh!! i don't even know what to do!! understand.. again?? well, if we reached that time, understanding is not the word for me.. but how could that be feasible if by merely telling him what i feel is not doable by me..?? *sigh* i think i have to live with it everyday.. everyday of my life.. and what i believe in is that eventhough we treat each other like as if, bhyuferhrjrigytufedyxrydwbvwigvotrhi.. i know that in the end, it is not him that nbfoprthbflkweuowgvmnzbfhegwiouvb.. why??? i just know it!! and as for now, ill just go with flow.. i know that im already hurting him indirectly.. but, what can i do if this is what i really feel dba?? i know that im hjgutdxutyojnve in my own way and if sooner or later everything's still gonna be the same, i may break that mnbvcasdfghoyrt.. and just tell him after a long time.. that is, if that long time will still work for us.. im not supposing nor settling scores.. i just feel like saying these stupid things.. coz i know that in due course, what i feel will recede.. back to the usual.. and what's worst is, this thing will happen again.. hhaaii nakoo!!! a very firm belief.. ewan!! i don't wanna be branded a "weirdo" like pae (ehe!) but what i'm doing at this instant makes me one..


"as for now, im gonna hear the saddest songs, and sit along and wonder..
and as for me, i wish that i was anywhere, with anyone.."

i look upon the moon and stars at 11:11 PM
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon